


Death is Inevitable

by e_cat



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Death, M/M, Sadness, how did this get so long?, it's really too easy to make Percy look like an idiot, kind of drags on, poorly timed humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 10:24:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3484751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/e_cat/pseuds/e_cat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico wakes up in the middle of the night - someone is dying (you'll have to read to see who).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death is Inevitable

**Author's Note:**

> Characters belong to Rick Riordan. Story takes place some time in the future. Maybe people are married, maybe they aren't. I don't know. I didn't focus on that so much. Also, I kind of skipped writing about Leo, because, well, I got lazy and I didn't want to figure that whole thing out.

Being the son of the god of the underworld didn’t mean that Nico could predict death. He could feel it when it happened, and sometimes he could feel when it was coming. But only when it was inevitable. Only when there was nothing to be done to stop it. So, Nico didn’t know it was coming until it was too late to stop it.

It’s hard to imagine that there is a tipping point where it will be impossible to survive. It doesn’t seem to make sense that there is a specific time when someone goes from sick to dying, but that seemed to be how it worked. One day, everything seemed fine, and the next, you’re faced with your own mortality, the promise that your end will be here long before you had thought. There is a tipping point, and while medicine cannot even begin to find it, the powers bestowed upon Nico by his heritage were more than capable.

This particular tipping point came at 3:27 in the morning on a nondescript November day. It was one cancer cell – no different from the others, really – that split into two, and tipped the balance to the other side of the scale. There was no coming back from this, not anymore.

When it happened, Nico woke up with a start. It took him only seconds to understand. There were tears in his eyes before he could even form a coherent thought on the subject. It wasn’t _fair._ He should have gotten more time with Will. They shouldn’t have been forced apart so soon.

Nico was not afraid of death, or at least he shouldn’t have been. He had faced death over and over again. He had watched his friends face death over and over again. He had survived losing people close to him.

He had seen the underworld, and he knew that it wasn’t a terrible place, as long you didn’t do anything to end up in the fields of punishment. Everyone Nico cared about had probably done enough good things that they would end up in Elysium, anyways.

He was the son of Hades, for gods’ sakes! Death was not something that should frighten him. Death was his friend, something he could rely on, something that could comfort him. Death was not scary. Death was something that happened to everyone, sooner or later, and just because it came a little earlier than expected didn’t mean that it was any less inevitable. Everyone died. Nico was not afraid of death.

Except that he was.

Nico tried to calm his breaths, very aware that Will was still sleeping beside him, completely oblivious to Nico’s panic. _In, out, in, out. Calm and steady._ It wasn’t working.

Nico shook his head at himself, pushing the tears off of his face. _Stop being so stupid,_ he told himself. _This isn’t the end of the world._ He didn’t really believe that, though. It kind of felt like it was.

Nico choked back a sob, trying to keep down the volume. He should have just left the room, let himself cry where Will couldn’t hear. But Nico couldn’t force himself to leave Will’s side. If their time together was as limited as Nico could feel that it was, he wasn’t going to give up any of it that he didn’t have to.

“Nico?” Will’s groggy voice broke into Nico’s lamentation.

Nico broke at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice. He cried freely now, hyperventilating and having no choice but to let his stupid, stupid fear of death take control of him. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, but he also knew that he was taking in more breaths than usual. His chest felt tight, while his head felt like it was spinning. His hands shook like leaves, but felt like they weighed a ton as he lifted them to wipe away some of his tears.

Will sat up in alarm. “Nico? Are you having a panic attack?”

Nico wasn’t entirely sure how to answer that. He had survived plenty of attacks by things far more tangible than panic. It seemed ridiculous that something so mundane could get the better of him. It was complete and utter nonsense. It was… completely true.

Nico attempted to nod, but he felt as if he couldn’t get his head to move. “Maybe…” he managed after a minute.

Will enveloped Nico in his arms, rubbing his back in an attempt to comfort him. “Did you have a nightmare?”

Nico couldn’t help but laugh a little. He didn’t need to have a nightmare; he was already in one. He shook his head in Will’s shirt. “No,” he whispered.

Will pulled back to look at him in concern. “What’s wrong?” Will asked. “What happened?” He scanned the room, looking for some sort of terror. But Will couldn’t see the thing that had Nico in such a bad state. The promise of death was not something that the son of Apollo could sense.

Nico took a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm. “Will,” he started, but he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t tell him. He buried his head in his boyfriend’s shirt.  
Will held him close. “What?” he said gently. “What is it?”

Nico just shook his head. He couldn’t do it. He had to do it. “We have to go to the hospital,” he mumbled. Maybe death couldn’t be avoided, but mortal medicine was at least somewhat competent at delaying it. Nico was going to be greedy. He was going take every last second he could get with Will.

Will laughed. “What? Just because you had a panic attack? We can go to a counselor, if you want, but we really don’t need emergency treatment. It can definitely wait until the morning, at least.”

Nico pulled back from Will. “No,” he said, his voice shaking. “I… it’s not that. It’s… I… Oh, gods, Will, I can’t even say it! How stupid is that?”

Will reached over and brushed away his tears. “Hey, it’s not stupid at all. In fact, I always liked a bit of suspense.” The smile on his face made tears well up in Nico’s eyes all over again. It broke his heart – it really did. “We can go to the hospital if you want, and you can tell me when you’re ready, okay?”

Nico nodded. He wanted to tell Will – he really did – but he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t say it. As if keeping it a secret would make it any less true. Nico knew that it wouldn’t. He could feel it. He wasn’t in denial. He knew what was happening. He just couldn’t find the courage to tell Will.

So they got dressed, and they got into the car, and they drove to the hospital. Nico cried the whole time. He knew it was stupid, because even death couldn’t separate them forever, but he also knew he didn’t want to be separated from Will for even a second. He was afraid. He didn’t want to face this. He wasn’t sure that he could.

Needless to say, Will spent the whole time watching Nico with concern. Nico knew that he was curious, but he knew that Will wouldn’t push him. Part of Nico was grateful for that, because he really didn’t know if he could tell him. But the other part wished that Will would force it out of him, because then Nico wouldn’t have to find the courage. He was very aware that he would have to explain at some point, preferably before he had to figure out how to explain this to the doctors.

Will stopped the car, and Nico looked up to see that they were already at the hospital. His heart pounded in his chest. He had to tell Will now, unless he wanted him to simply try and make sense of what Nico was saying to whatever poor soul was in charge of the admitting process at 4 in the morning.

Nico looked over at Will, who was looking back at him with a serious expression. “Do you want to explain before we go in there?” he asked, trying very hard to sound patient. Nico was going to miss that.

Nico nodded slowly. He took a deep breath. And then another. He wasn’t ready for this. How do you say something like this? It would be so much easier if Will just knew, if he could sense it like Nico could. Wait – maybe he could, if Nico directed him where to look.

Nico grabbed Will’s hand and dragged it over to his side of the car, placing it over his abdomen. Will looked at him with confusion, and Nico gave him a nod with sad eyes. Will closed his eyes and concentrated. After a minute, he gasped and pulled back his hand. He looked at Nico with shock, and Nico nodded again.

Will jumped out of the car and hurried to open Nico’s door. “Come on! We’re going inside now!”

Nico smiled at how his boyfriend took control so easily in medical situations. Normally, it made him feel secure, but there was nothing that could save him now.

Will held out a hand to help Nico out of the car. Nico rolled his eyes and got out on his own. Will immediately sloped an arm around him to support him. Nico shoved him off. “I’m not an invalid, Will!”

“No,” Will agreed, “but you’re…”

“Dying,” Nico finished for him.

Will paled. “No! You’re not dying! You’re going to be fine, Nico!”

Nico stopped. Maybe he should have said it explicitly. He looked at Will. “Why do you think that I can sense it, Will? It’s a death sentence. I’m not going to make it through this.”

Will shook his head, tears falling from his eyes now. “No. You… you can’t die. Nico! You can’t die on me. Please. Don’t die, Death Boy,” he said, struggling to find his comfort zone. “Please don’t leave me. Doctor’s – Doctor’s Orders.”

Nico could only shake his head. “I don’t have any control over it, Will. I’m dying, and there’s nothing either of us can do to stop it.”

“No!” Will insisted. “No! My father is the god of healing! Yours is in charge of the underworld! We’re at one of the best hospitals in the city! I refuse to believe that there’s nothing to be done! You’re going to be fine!”

Nico smiled sadly. He knew that arguing was pointless. Will needed time to come to terms with this, just like Nico had. Nico still couldn’t believe it completely, but he knew that he couldn’t entertain any hope. He could feel how pointless it was. He could feel with absolute certainty the inevitability of his death.

But Will wasn’t ready to accept that. Nico knew he had to give him time. So he just took Will’s hand, and said, “Come on. Let’s go inside. We’ll talk about this later.” Will just followed meekly behind him.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nico was already in a bad mood when the strangely-familiar-looking orderly stopped outside his room and peered in. He was angry at everyone at this stupid hospital. He was angry at the nurses who had been resistant to admitting him at first, and he was angry at the way they looked at him with pity now. He was angry at the way that, even when he was dying, people seemed to shy away from him as if he could cause them to die as well. He was angry at whoever was in charge of the food in this place.

Mostly, though, Nico was angry at his doctor. The idiot was far too monotone. His explanations were somewhere between sounding like he was talking to a five-year-old, and sounding like he was reading from a boring textbook.

The doctor had also asked Nico about his symptoms, which was actually very annoying, because it made Nico feel like an idiot. He had been feeling kind of off for a few days – he should have known. He should have mentioned it to Will. He should have said something about the back pain that he had been writing off as too much time sitting around. He should have said something about not feeling hungry – about the way the food looked unappetizing even when he hadn’t eaten all day.

Of course, Nico knew that it probably wouldn’t have helped. Just because he wasn't guaranteed to die before didn’t mean that he wouldn’t. There would have been a good chance of his death, he knew, even if they had figured out what was wrong before. Still, Nico hated the doctor for reminding him that he’d missed his chance at having a chance. But that wasn’t the worst part.

The worst thing that the doctor had done – which Nico took as a personal offense – was giving Will hope. That stupid doctor had gone and spouted statistics, which Will had listened to intently, and which had basically given him the idea that there was a chance, no matter how small, that Nico could live through this.

After the idiot doctor had left, Nico had had Will sit down, and reminded him that there really wasn’t a chance. Nico was dying. He could feel it.

Still, Will had that glimmer of hope in his eyes. Nico couldn’t stand to see it – not when he knew that there was no reason to entertain any hope at all. He blamed that stupid doctor and his stupid modern medicine. They had to have their statistics. They didn’t understand that when Nico said he was dying, he was dying. As a demigod, Will should have known that. But Nico had forgotten that his boyfriend was a stupid modern doctor, too.

Nico couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed at Will, though – except for the fact that he hadn’t slept since they got there. Finally, Will had passed out in the chair beside the bed. Nico wished that Will had slept at night like a normal person; he was getting really bored.

And then that orderly stopped outside of the room. Nico thought for a second that she looked familiar, but he shot a glare at the curious employee anyways. Then the Mist melted away, and Hazel was standing in the doorway.

“Hazel!” Nico exclaimed in disbelief. “What are you doing here?” Forgetting about his boyfriend’s sleep deprivation in his annoyance, Nico threw his pillow at Will to wake him up. “Did you call her?” he demanded.

Hazel rolled her eyes. “He didn’t need to call me,” she said. “I’m your emergency contact, remember? You haven’t shown up to work in two days. Haven’t called in, either. I told your boss you’d probably have to be hit by a bus not to show up.”

Nico cursed himself for forgetting to call into work. He had kind of assumed that Will would think of the important things like that, but, then again, Will had been kind of useless with anything that didn’t have to do with saving Nico. Nico glanced at him. Will looked hurt. “She’s your emergency contact?”

Nico sighed. That was so not the point. “I’m with you like 97% of the time, Will. If anything happened to me, you’d already know.”

Will was still pouting, but Nico ignored that. He looked back at Hazel, waiting for the inevitable. She stepped into the room. “So, what’s wrong with you, anyways? You don’t look like you’ve been hit by a bus.” She stopped suddenly in the middle of the room. She looked like she was going to be sick. “Oh,” she said.

“Yeah,” Nico agreed. He glanced at Will, who still had that stubborn glimmer of hope in his eyes. “You want to tell him that?” he begged Hazel. “He still thinks that there’s a chance.”

Hazel looked between them, swaying a little on her feet. “Did – did you talk to Dad?”

Nico shook his head. “What’s he going to do? He’s the god of making sure people go to the underworld, not of keeping them alive.”

Hazel nodded, stumbling to a chair. She didn’t look quite like she believed it. Great. Now Nico had two idiots to deal with.

“Why did you need the disguise?” Nico asked, trying to distract her. “Couldn’t you have just called around?”

Hazel shook her head numbly. “They wouldn’t give out information to non-family members,” she said. “And we have different last names. Neither of us really have current birth certificates. They didn’t believe I was your sister. I had to sneak around and look for you.”

“Oh. I guess I should have called, probably. I just didn’t know how to say it.”

Hazel nodded. “Right. Does anyone else know?” Nico shook his head, looking down at the sheets. “Are you going to tell them?”

Nico looked up and bit his lip. “I – I don’t know if I can tell them. I just – I’m not ready to say goodbye.”

Hazel nodded. “I guess I’ll have to tell Frank,” she said. “He’ll be able to tell that something’s wrong. And, of course, he won’t be able to keep it from Reyna. She’ll probably tell Jason…”

Nico shook his head. “Hazel, no! Don’t tell anyone, please!”

Hazel stared at him. “Don’t you want them to know? Nico, I know you didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to your sister before she died. Don’t take that away from everyone else. Don’t make them suffer the way you did.”

“I – I can’t,” Nico said, his voice breaking. “I can’t face them. I don’t want them to… to…” He had to break off. He wasn’t sure what he was avoiding.

Hazel sighed and took his hand. She winced, feeling the stronger sense of death with the contact, but she didn’t let go. “They’ll want to know,” she said softly. “You can’t just put it off. You don’t have that much time.”

Nico nodded; he knew that. He just wasn’t ready. “I’ll tell them,” he promised. “Just… give me a little time. I’m not ready to face everyone.” He glanced at Will, who was so exhausted that he had already fallen asleep again, clutching Nico’s pillow. Nico tried not to be annoyed about that. “I haven’t even been able to convince Will to accept it. I don’t know if I can deal with everyone else, too.”

Hazel nodded, and Nico could see that she wouldn’t believe it, either, if she couldn’t feel it. “Okay,” she agreed. “I won’t tell anyone. I’m going to stay here for a few days. If I see Frank…” A tear escaped from her eye. “I won’t be able to hide it from him.”

Nico squeezed her hand gratefully. “Thank you,” he said, feeling relieved. He looked at Will again. “When he wakes up, ask him for the key to our apartment. You can stay there.” Nico hesitated. He knew that he should tell Hazel to make Will go home and sleep, too, but he couldn’t find the strength. Nico was dying, and it was making him feel selfish. He didn’t want Will to leave his side. Not until he had to.

Nico looked at Hazel with pleading eyes, and hoped that she would make the decision for him. Probably, the better choice was for her to drag Will home and get him to shower and change and rest. Nico found himself hoping that Hazel didn’t do that, or that Will resisted. He didn’t want them to leave him alone.

Hazel nodded. “Right. I’ll ask him when he wakes up. I’ll bring back some clothes for him.” Nico let out a sigh of relief; she wasn’t going to try to take Will away from him. “Do you want me to get anything for you?”

Nico looked over at Will, sleeping soundly on the chair at his bedside. He shook his head. “I’ve got everything I need.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nico was watching the yellowish liquid slowly drip into the IV. There wasn’t much else to do. He had saved up his willpower, and finally managed to send Will away. He couldn’t keep him here forever, and Will did have a job. He needed a distraction. He needed to do something other than sit at Nico’s bedside. But if he had asked if Nico was sure one more time, Nico was certain that he wouldn’t have been able to let him leave.

Nico sighed at the IV. He had been warned that the treatment could make him feel weak, but he felt pretty good with all the ambrosia Will had stuffed into him. There were some things the food of the gods couldn’t heal, but at least it could make sure that it wasn’t the treatment that killed him.

Nico glanced around the room he’d been in for the last week. He wondered if he was supposed to be in the hospital for so long. Probably this could be done as an outpatient procedure. Yet, here he was. He would have to talk to Will – Nico was starting to suspect that his boyfriend had bullied the hospital into letting him stay.

Reaching for the remote to the TV, Nico decided to try and find something to pass the time before Hazel was supposed to come by for lunch. Just as he settled on a channel that wasn’t completely boring, though, she burst through the door.

“I am so sorry!” she exclaimed. “I didn’t mean to – I really didn’t.”

Nico sat up and turned off the TV. “Hazel? What are you talking about?”

“I really, really didn’t mean to,” she continued. “It’s just… Frank sent me an Iris Message, and he asked me what was wrong, and I just started crying, and –”

“You told him!” Nico burst out.

Hazel nodded, tears falling down her face. “I’m so sorry, Nico. I know you said you weren’t ready, but… they had to find out eventually, right?”

Nico sighed and leaned back. “Who else knows?”

Hazel looked away. “Um… everyone?”

“Everyone?” Nico demanded with wide eyes. “How did that happen?”

“Well, Reyna was there when Frank Iris Messaged me, and she immediately assumed that Jason had known and didn’t tell her, and, of course, he was with Piper when Reyna Iris Messaged to yell at him. And then…”

Nico sighed. “Yeah, I get it,” he said. Sometimes it sucked that his friends were all so close. “When are they coming?”

“How about right now?” Another voice rang out. Nico cursed his luck – of course it would be Percy who showed up first.

Percy Jackson, with a stupid grin on his face stepped into the room. From behind his back, he pulled out a large, blue, stuffed bear. The expression on his face said that he thought it was the greatest thing in the world. Nico did not agree.

First of all, Nico did not need a giant stuffed bear, especially one that was such an unnatural, bright blue color. And then there were the words on the front, which were the cause of the horrified look on Hazel’s face.

“Get well soon?” she hissed. “Don’t you think that’s a little… insensitive?”

Percy looked down at the bear’s stomach, where the offending phrase was printed in dark blue cursive. “No…” he ventured.

Then Annabeth came in. “Hey, sorry it took me so long to park. You would think they don’t want people visiting their patients with how far away the parking is, and –” She noticed the bear. “Percy,” she scolded, shaking her head. “Really? I can’t leave you alone for five minutes!” She snatched away the bear, but was clearly unsure what to do with it after that.

Nico sighed. “It’s fine. I don’t mind, really. Just don’t let Will see it. Either he’ll freak out and kill Percy, or he’ll take it as a sign and get all his hopes up again. Frankly, I’m not sure which is worse.”

“Hey!” Percy protested.

Annabeth rolled her eyes. “If you were dying, would you want anyone giving me false hope?”

Percy thought about it, but he was still pouting when he said, “No.” He looked up from the floor and began examining Nico. It was making Nico feel kind of uncomfortable. “You don’t look like you’re dying,” Percy concluded.

Annabeth hit him with the bear. “You idiot! You can’t say things like that!”

“Ow!” Percy complained. If that bear could actually injure him, Nico might want to keep it around, after all. “Why not?”

“Because it’s insensitive!” Annabeth and Hazel informed him in unison. Their twin glares were probably what got through to him, though.

“Okay, okay! Fine! I’m sorry. I’m an idiot.”

Nico laughed. “He finally admits it! I should have started dying years ago!”

“Nico!” Hazel exclaimed.

Nico shrugged. “Sorry. It was just a joke.” Hazel glared at him, but it was kind of sad around the edges. Nico looked away, and tried to change the subject. “How did you guys get here so quickly? I thought you were in California.”

“We were visiting Sally,” Annabeth told him. “We tried to call you guys to see if we could meet and catch up, but… well, I guess now we know why you haven’t been returning our calls.”

Nico looked down. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I was going to tell you guys. Really, I was.”

Annabeth sat down beside him and took his hand. “It’s okay,” she said. “I know it must be hard to come to terms with this.”

Nico nodded, trying not to cry. “I just didn’t know how to say it,” he told her.

Annabeth squeezed his hand. “It’s all right, Nico. Everything is all right.” Nico felt tears fall at her comforting words. He knew she was trying to make him feel better, but it wasn’t true. Everything wasn’t all right. He was dying, and he couldn’t even have Will be with him for every second of it, because that would just make him a horrible and selfish person. He wiped away his tears and tried to be strong.

Nico was just starting to calm down a little when Jason and Piper showed up. Piper was already crying. “Nico,” she said, her voice cracking. “You are not going to die! Listen to me! Don’t die, Nico!”

Nico felt the charmspeak in her voice wash over him, and for a second he believe her. Then he shook it off. “You can’t charmspeak death away, Piper,” he said sadly.  
Piper let out a strangled sob, and Jason held her close. “How are you doing, Nico?” He looked like he’d been crying, too, but he was trying to put on a brave face for Piper, and probably for Nico.

Nico shrugged. “Can’t complain,” he said with an ironic smile. Piper sobbed again.

The blue bear, abandoned in the corner, caught Jason’s attention. “What is that?” he asked. He left Piper with Hazel, who had started trying to calm her down, and picked up bear. He read the words, and looked at Percy with outrage. “Really, man? How stupid can you be?”

Percy held up his hands defensively. “Hey! How do you know it was me? Maybe Hazel brought it!”

Jason snorted as Hazel glared at Percy. “Because you’re the only one who would get a blue bear at the gift shop. And you’re the only one who could be so stupid.”  
“Hey!” Percy objected. “I thought it was a perfectly nice gift! And it’s the thought that counts, right?”

“Yeah, if you bother to think!” Hazel retorted.

“At least I didn’t keep the whole thing a secret for the last week!” Percy returned.

“At least I didn’t make him cry!” Hazel shot out, glaring at Annabeth.

“Hey!” Annabeth complained. “What did I ever do to get dragged into this?”

“You left _him_ alone!” Hazel pointed out, and Annabeth winced.

Suddenly, everyone was yelling at each other. Nico couldn’t stand it. “Stop!” he yelled. “Stop! Everyone shut up!”

The floor shook, and everyone stopped arguing to look at him apologetically. “This is exactly why I didn’t want all of you to come! Look at yourselves! You’re letting this tear you apart! Do you think that’s what I want? Do you think I want you all glaring at each other over my deathbed? Because I don’t!”

“Sorry, Nico,” Hazel mumbled. Everyone else followed suit.

"Now,” Nico said, “everyone get out. You can come back tomorrow. _But not at the same time.”_

His friends hung their heads and began filing out of the room. Then, Nico thought of something. “Piper,” he called out. She looked back at him, her tears mostly stopped but her eyes still red. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

She nodded and returned to his bedside, taking Annabeth’s now-empty chair. She waited until everyone had left the room, closing the door behind them, before she asked, “What is it, Nico?”

Nico bit his lip nervously. “The… the charmspeak thing… do you think you could do it again?”

Piper looked surprised. “But… you said it didn’t work.”

Nico nodded. “Well, no. It doesn’t. But when I’m, you know, actually dying, maybe you could give me a few more minutes?”

Piper’s eyes were wide. “Isn’t… isn’t it going to hurt? Dying, I mean? Won’t you be in pain?”

Nico shrugged. “I don’t care. If I have to die, I want as much time with Will as possible.”

Piper drew in a breath. “Nico, are you sure? He wouldn’t want you to prolong your suffering.”

Nico steadied himself. “It’s not up to him,” he said decisively. “I’m sure.”

Piper nodded slowly. “Okay. Okay. I can try, when the time comes.”

Nico sighed with relief. “Thank you,” he said, and Piper offered him a small smile. She stood to leave. When she had almost reached the door, Nico said, “Piper?” She looked back. “Don’t tell anyone else, okay?”

Piper nodded. “Okay. If that’s what you want, I won’t tell anyone.”

Nico smiled and nodded gratefully. “And, Piper?” She looked at him curiously. “If Hazel’s still out there, tell her she can come back in. If she gets me some good food for lunch. The stuff they’ve got here sucks.”

Piper smiled. “You got it, Nico. I’ll let her know.” Nico smiled and leaned back on his pillow. He really hoped Hazel was still there. As much as he disliked the idea of all of his friends being in his room at the same time, he liked the idea of being completely alone even less. If Will couldn’t be the one by his side… well, Hazel was probably his next best option.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I am seriously going to kill you,” Reyna ranted.

Nico smirked. “That’s a little redundant, don’t you think?” he said darkly.

Reyna glared at him. “That’s not funny, Nico. Seriously, how could you not tell me? I thought we were friends!”

“I would like to point out that I didn’t tell anyone,” Nico said calmly. “The only reason Hazel found out is because my stupid boss called her.” Reyna continued glaring, and Nico sighed. “Fine. I’m sorry. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Reyna crossed her arms, but she didn’t seem to be able to hold onto her anger. She looked like she wanted to cry. Frank already was – apparently it hadn’t really hit him until he saw Nico in the hospital bed. Hazel was comforting him, which seemed kind of backwards to Nico, but he was at least grateful that he didn’t have a room full of blubbering friends.

“I can’t believe you’re dying,” Reyna said, her voice oddly vulnerable. “It just seems so impossible. Like just yesterday we were on that quest together.”  
Nico almost laughed. “I wasn’t doing so well back then, either,” he pointed out.

Reyna sighed. “I guess you weren’t. It just seems so unfair. Why do you have to die?”

Nico shrugged. “Everyone has die at some point,” he said. The words sounded hollow even to him. He didn’t want to die, either, but what choice did he have?

Reyna closed her eyes and breathed. Nico could see how hard she was trying not to let him see how much this upset her. He was trying to figure out what to say to make her feel better when Will came sweeping into the room with plastic bags dangling from his shoulders. “Get ready, Sunshine. We’re celebrating making it through one week in this godforsaken place,” he announced grandly as he entered. Nico smiled faintly as Will stopped, noticing the others in the room. “Oh,” he said. “Hi.” He looked at Nico. “You told them?”

Nico shook his head. “Hazel spilled the beans. Apparently, it is, in fact, possible to make it from California to New York in less than 4 hours without shadow travel.” Nico narrowed his eyes. “Speaking of which, aren’t you supposed to be working until 5?”

Will waved him off. “I cut out early. No big deal.”

Nico frowned. “You haven’t been to work in almost a week, and your first day back you leave 3 hours early? Will…”

Will gave him a big-eyed, pouting look that he knew Nico couldn’t resist. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I just couldn’t stop thinking about you sitting here all alone.”

Nico sighed. Considering that Will was a doctor, sending him to work as a distraction might not have been the best idea. “When can I go home, Will?”

“When you’re better,” Will replied automatically.

“Will,” Nico said carefully, “we’ve been over this: I’m not going to get better.”

“Well, we’re going to go,” Hazel announced, herding Frank and Reyna out of the room.

“We’ll talk to you tomorrow, Nico?” Reyna asked.

Nico nodded. “You’re all welcome to stay at our place, right, Will?” Will nodded. “Just… don’t tell everyone else. When I go home – and I _am_ going to go home – I don’t want the place to be packed with people.”

“Thanks, Nico,” Reyna said. “But I think I’m going to get a hotel room.”

“Us, too, Nico,” Hazel said. “I’ve been crashing on your couch for far too long. I owe you a little space.”

Nico nodded. “Okay. I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow.” They left, and he looked at Will. He knew he should feel apprehensive for the argument on Nico’s probability of survival that was bound to follow, but he felt relieved instead. It felt like forever since he’d been alone with Will, and he had really missed it. Plus, he hadn’t realized before just how much he wanted to have his space when he got home.

“So, you want to go home?” Will asked, sitting in the chair beside Nico’s bed.

Nico nodded. “Kind of. Well, kind of a lot. It’s boring here – I hate hospitals. And I know that I’m always going to be aware that I’m dying, but… it might be a little easier if I’m not being reminded of it constantly.” He held up his arm with the IV in it to demonstrate.

Will sighed. “I’m sorry. I just… I can’t seem to believe it. I’m not ready to lose you, Nico.” There were tears beginning to fall from Will’s eyes. “I guess… I guess I just thought that maybe… maybe you’d have a better chance of surviving if you were here.”

Nico took Will’s hand. “I know,” he said quietly. “I know. But I’m really just sitting here. It’s not doing anything for me. And, honestly, I’d rather be at home. At least then I can control who bothers me.”

Will smirked. “You really think you can keep them out?”

Nico sighed. “No. Not really.” He bit his lip in thought. “Maybe I could pretend that I’m too weak to get up.” Will rolled his eyes, suppressing a laugh. “‘I’m sorry, Percy! I don’t think I can make it to the door! Too weak!’” Nico joked.

Will laughed. Then he got really quiet and just looked at Nico for a minute. “I really love you,” he said. He sounded so sad. Nico hated it.

“You’re not allowed to say you love me in that tone,” Nico reprimanded.

“I’m sorry,” Will said. His tone was the same. “I just lo – I mean…” He cleared his throat. “I love you so much. But I…” His tone dropped again. “I can’t bear the thought of losing you.”

Nico tugged Will closer. “Don’t think about that right now,” Nico instructed. “Let’s just enjoy the time we have left.”

Will struggled to hold back tears. “Okay,” he said, his voice cracking on the two syllables. “I’ll check you out tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Nico asked. “Why tomorrow? Why not tonight?”

Will grinned and held up the bags he’d brought. “Tonight, I promised you a celebration.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nico glared at the closed bedroom door. He could hear conversation in the living room. He wondered who was still here – it had been Hazel, Percy, and Jason when he’d fallen asleep. Nico hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but he was just so tired. He remembered leaning back and closing his eyes while Percy and Jason argued about something dumb. Somehow, in spite of the noise, Nico must have drifted off, because he when he had reopened his eyes, there was no one in the room.

Nico sighed and checked the clock on the bedside table. 4:19. He had been asleep for a couple of hours. It was possible that it was someone else entirely who was visiting now. Nico wouldn’t have been surprised if his friends had gone home after so long.

He was surprised that they were still visiting him every day – it had been more than a month already. He was especially surprised by the continuing presence of Hazel, Frank, Reyna, Percy and Annabeth. They had lives to get back to in California. Nico tried to get them to go – he promised that he would tell them when they should come back to say goodbye – but they just wouldn’t go. It would have been touching if it hadn’t meant that Nico had to deal with them every day.

Nico got up out of bed, leaning a little on the wall for support – he was _not_ weak; he just needed a minute to wake up – and left the room. The minute Nico closed the door behind him, conversation ceased, and suddenly Will was at his side, propping him up. “What are you doing out of bed?” Will asked in alarm.

Nico tried to push him off half-heartedly. “I’m not an invalid, Will,” he muttered. “I’m coming out to the living room to talk to whoever is here.”

Will looked like he wanted to argue, so Nico pushed out of his embrace and tried to walk down the hallway on his own, at a normal pace and without using the wall for support. That was a big mistake. Nico only made it a couple of steps before his legs tried to give out, and Will had to catch him.

“Whoa,” Will said with concern. “Are you sure you want to be up right now? You should be resting, Nico. You know how tired those treatments make you.”

Nico sighed. “I’m getting tired of staring at the wall all the time,” he whined. “Can’t I sit out in the living room for a while? Maybe talk to some of our friends?”

Will squeezed his shoulder. “Of course,” he said, trying to be supportive. “I’m just worried that you’re going to over-exert yourself.”

“I’ll be fine, Will,” Nico growled.

“You sure about that, Death Boy?” Nico paused to look at him in surprise. Will hadn’t called him Death Boy in weeks – practically since he’d started dying. Nico figured it was a bit of a sore spot, so he hadn’t pressed it, but he’d actually been missing the nickname a little. That, and “Doctor’s orders,” which Will had used almost nonstop since obtaining his medical degree. Now that Nico needed an actual doctor, Will seemed to avoid using the title to boss him around.

“I’m sorry,” Will said quietly. “I didn’t mean to…”

Nico shook his head and gave Will a kiss, which was kind of awkward considering that he was being held up by him at the same time. “You don’t ever have to watch what you say to me,” Nico promised. “Don’t try to change what you say just because you think it will upset me. I’m not fragile, Will. Please don’t change things between us. I don’t want it end that way.”

Will nodded. “Okay. Well, then, in that case, I think we need to get you to the couch. You need to sit down, Death Boy. Doctor’s orders.”

Nico smiled. “I can’t say no to that,” he said, and he leaned up to give Will another kiss.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The chair was built for one person, but Will and Nico squeezed into it every day. Nico had always been small, and he took up even less space with the weight loss. He knew it made Will unhappy, but he just couldn’t help it. The food just looked unappetizing, and the nausea didn’t help, either. It also didn’t help that Will hid ambrosia in almost everything he gave Nico, and sometimes those flavor combinations were downright disgusting.

Nico sighed and leaned into Will, closing his eyes. Will was so warm, and Nico was so cold. It felt nice. Comforting.

“Do you want us to go?”

Nico opened his eyes and looked at Annabeth. Her hand was clasped with Percy’s as they sat on the couch. Jason and Piper were in a similar pose beside them. “No,” Nico mumbled, ashamed of the fatigue in his voice. “You can stay.”

“Are you sure, Nico?” Piper asked. “We could let you rest, you know. You seem like you could use it.”

Nico closed his eyes again and curled in closer to Will. The other man squeezed him and kissed his forehead. “I’m fine,” Nico said. “I’m just going to close my eyes for a minute…”

Will laughed quietly. “Do you want me to take you to the bedroom?”

Nico shook his head. “I’m good here.”

“You know, I’m kind of trapped here now,” Will murmured.

“Perfect,” Nico mumbled, shifting to find a more comfortable position. “That way you can’t leave me.”

He was half-asleep already, but, as Will brushed his hair back, Nico heard him say, “I’m not the one doing the leaving here, Death Boy.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nico hated the mirror with a passion. He considered declaring it his mortal enemy, but he knew there wasn’t much point. There wasn’t a lot of time to develop this rivalry, and Nico didn’t have the strength. Besides, there was no point in hating the mirror for simply showing him the truth.

Right now, the truth was that Nico should call Will. The doctor was half-way through a double shift – for which he’d apologized profusely – and Nico really didn’t want to bother him. He supposed he could call Hazel, or maybe someone else, but he really only wanted Will. And if he called Will, then his boyfriend would probably refuse to leave his side for days, which would make Nico feel guilty all over again.

Of course, Nico knew that it would probably end up that way in any case, when Will eventually returned home. But Nico could hope. He could pretend, however briefly, that everything was fine. He could make it through a few more hours alone. He knew no one was coming over.

It had been solely Nico’s idea to tell Hazel to spread the word that he wanted the day to himself. His friends probably thought that he just wanted a day alone with Will. If Will had known about Nico’s plan, he never would have allowed it. Nico dreaded the lecture that Will would undoubtedly give him once he found out.

Nico shivered and pulled the blanket around himself more firmly. He left the bathroom and its hateful mirror behind to go back to bed.

Will was going to freak out when he got home. Nico was pretty sure that he looked worse than he had when he’d been fading. He definitely weighed less, and there was the yellowish skin and eyes that had just showed up. Add to that the fact that Nico hadn’t eaten anything since Will had gone into work, and it was a pretty safe bet to say that Will wasn’t going to be happy.

Nico was almost to the bedroom when a sudden pain hit him. He crumpled to the ground in agony. He tried to crawl back to the bed, but he could hardly move. Eventually, he just gave up and curled into a ball, trying cover himself with the blanket.

He shivered and cried, waiting for Will to come home. He supposed this was what he got for deciding not to call his boyfriend when he first noticed the yellow skin and eyes. But maybe he wouldn’t have made it to a phone in order to call for help anyways.

Nico considered shadow-travelling to Hazel’s hotel room, or maybe just to the phone, but he wasn’t sure he could do it without passing out. If he passed out in the middle of a shadow, what would happen to him? And then he would have to listen to Will yell at him about over-exerting himself… It just wasn’t worth it. He would just have to wait.

Nico wasn’t sure how long he’d been lying on the floor – it felt like an eternity – when Will finally came home. Nico heard the door open, heard Will drop his keys on the table by the door. He heard Will go into the kitchen and open the fridge, probably to get a bottle of water, or some food to force-feed Nico.

Nico tried to call out to him, but his voice was weak and quiet. “Will…” His second attempt was a little better, but he still doubted that Will heard it. He braced himself against the pain, and pushed himself up the wall. “Will!” His voice was cracked, but it was loud enough to catch Will’s attention.

Nico heard something clatter to the floor, and his own hand slipped down the wall, leaving him on the floor once more. He squeezed his eyes shut out the pain. He felt Will arrive beside him. “Nico! Are you okay? Why are you on the floor?” His voice did little to disguise his alarm.

Nico opened his eyes. Will gasped; he probably hadn’t notice that Nico’s skin was a little yellow until he saw his eyes. “It hurts,” Nico whispered.  
“Damn it, di Angelo!” Will swore. “Why didn’t you call me?”

Nico laughed bitterly. “Didn’t want to bother you. Also, I couldn’t exactly make it to the phone.”

Will sighed and picked him up. Nico whimpered in his arms, but he didn’t want Will to put him down. He didn’t want Will to ever leave him alone again. But he couldn’t say that. He couldn’t ask that of Will. Not now, not ever.

Will placed him gently on the couch, and then he was gone, presumably to call 911 or Hazel or someone. Nico kind of heard him talking, or at least he thought he did. He was pretty sure that Will wasn’t talking to him, but he couldn’t focus on the words. The pain was getting worse. The world started to feel less present. Nico’s eyes slipped closed, and everything faded.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nico wished he could go home. He didn’t want to die in the hospital. He wanted to be in his own bed, with his own clothes on. There wasn’t anything he was getting at the hospital besides the pain-killers – who knew that dying would hurt so much? It would be so much better if he could just go home.

But Will wouldn’t hear of it. He insisted that Nico needed to stay at the hospital, unless he wanted Will staying home with him every second. Nico was very tempted to say that that was exactly what he wanted. But that wasn’t fair. Nico couldn’t do that to Will. He couldn’t make Will put his life on hold just to watch Nico’s end.

“How are you doing, Nico?”

Nico opened his eyes and smiled at Reyna. “About as well as could be expected. How did you know I was awake?”

Reyna sighed and sat down at his bedside. “You looked troubled. You don’t look troubled when you’re sleeping.”

“Oh,” Nico said. “I see.”

“How long do you have left?” Reyna asked, cutting right to the chase.

Nico looked at her suspiciously. “You could have asked Hazel.”

Reyna shrugged. “I didn’t want to bring it up. It’s a bit of a sore subject for her.”

“It is? She hasn’t said anything.”

“She’s trying to be brave for you, Nico.” Reyna said it like it was obvious. “She’s actually very upset about the whole thing. It’s been worse lately, so I figure that means you don’t have much time left. But how long, exactly?”

Nico shrugged. “A week, maybe.”

Reyna drew in a sharp breath and closed her eyes. When she reopened them, there were tears in them. “How is Will taking it?”

Nico looked away. “I’ve been avoiding bringing it up. I think he’s still kind of in denial. I’m afraid to tell him how little time I have left. Besides, he’d probably refuse to leave my side until… well, you know.”

“You have to tell him, Nico,” Reyna said with concern. “He would want to know. Everyone else, too.”

Nico grimaced. “Do I really?”

Reyna sighed. “Yes, Nico. You can’t hide it this time. Don’t make Hazel tell everyone again. I don’t think she can handle it.”

Nico made a face. “Fine,” he said. “I’ll tell them. Just… let me tell Will first?”

“Tell him today,” Reyna commanded. “If you love him, you won’t try to hide it any longer.”

Nico looked down and picked at the sheets. “I know.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Any minute now. Nico could feel it. He was going to die any minute now. There wasn’t much time left. This was the end.

Will was gasping in breath as he sobbed. The others weren’t doing much better. Even Reyna was crying. She and Hazel were trying to comfort each other, but it didn’t seem to be very effective.

Nico was not doing well with all the crying. Honestly, he wasn’t doing well with the number of people crammed into this small room, either. Hazel must have been manipulating the Mist, because Nico was pretty sure it was against hospital regulations to have so many people here at once.

“Don’t cry, guys,” Nico pleaded. If they didn’t stop, he was going to start crying, too. “Please. It’s only a temporary separation,” he reasoned. “I’ll see you all again in the Underworld.”

If anything, that only made them cry harder. “I’m not ready to be apart from you, Death Boy,” Will lamented. “Even if it is only temporary. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life without you.”

Nico took in a shaky breath. “I – I know. But you have to, okay? Promise me that you’ll try to be happy?”

Will shook his head. “I can’t be happy without you!”

Nico sighed. “You have to try, Will! Please! I don’t want you to be miserable for the rest of your life. I love you. Don’t make this harder for me.”

Will took his hand. “I wish you didn’t have to go.”

“I know,” Nico said softly. “I know, Will. I wish that, too. But we don’t have a choice, okay? I’ll see you again, one day. Try to be happy until then. Please. For me?”

Will closed his eyes and sighed. “Okay. I promise I’ll try.” Nico was tempted to make him swear it on the Styx, but he knew that he had to trust Will. He couldn’t make Will promise to be happy. What if he couldn’t do it?

Nico gasped with a sudden pain. Will calmly dialed up the morphine. Nico pulled his hand away. “No,” he said. “I want to be awake for this. I want to be here to say goodbye.”

“Nico,” Hazel sobbed, “you don’t have to be so brave. We don’t want you to be in pain.”

“I’m all right, Hazel,” Nico replied, reaching out his other hand for her. She and Reyna took it together. “I can handle it.”

“Nico, please,” Reyna begged. “You don’t have to suffer in order to say goodbye. We don’t mind.”

Nico shrugged. “It’s not that bad,” he lied. “I can take it.”

“If you’re sure,” Jason said uncertainly, “then I suppose we have to respect your wishes.” Piper looked at him with an expression that Nico couldn’t read, and therefore chose not to dwell on.

Nico nodded. “Okay,” he started, “time to say goodbye, I guess. I mean, it’s only temporary, of course.” He was really trying to be brave here, but he was finding it really hard. He turned first to Hazel. “Hazel, you’re truly my sister. I know you’re going to feel guilty about getting your second life and outliving me, but you truly deserve it. And I would gladly give my life for you to have yours.”

Hazel’s tears flowed down her cheeks with renewed vigor. “Nico… I’m really going to miss you.”

Nico nodded. “I’m going to miss you, too. Don’t worry, okay? I’ll see you again. I promise.” Hazel sniffled, but she nodded. Nico looked at Frank, standing behind her. “Take care of my sister, okay? I can’t think of anyone better for Hazel. I’ve come to see you as a good friend, Frank. Don’t let me down, okay?” Frank nodded, eyes wide and teary. He opened his mouth to reply, but he couldn’t get the words out. He ended up just nodding again.

“Reyna,” Nico said fondly, “you’ve become like a sister to me as well. I wouldn’t have even survived this long without you. And I know you’re trying to lend me your strength now. I appreciate it, but you don’t need to. It’s only going to cause you pain. I don’t want that, Reyna. I want you to be happy.”

Reyna sighed and wiped her eyes with her free hand. “Okay. You will be missed, Nico. Truly. You are a brave and worthy warrior. You will be honored.”

Nico smiled. “I thank you for that, Reyna.” He looked to Jason. “Jason, you’ve been a very good friend. You’ve always been supportive, and you’ve been there whenever I needed you. You are the best friend I could ask for. Thank you so much. I will miss you.” Jason nodded solemnly, not trusting himself to speak. Nico turned his attention to the girl in his arms. “Piper –”

“Wait!” Percy interrupted. “Do me next! Give me a better goodbye than Jason.”

“Percy,” Annabeth mumbled under her breath, shaking her head. Everyone was staring at Percy, who looked kind of sorry for forgetting himself in his constant rivalry with Jason. Nico thought that they could use a little levity, though.

Smiling, Nico said, “Percy… You’re still not my type.” About half of his friends laughed; Percy looked horrified. “But you have been a good friend. You were a hero to me, and you’ve saved me more than once. Thank you for being there.” He smirked at Annabeth. “Annabeth, don’t let him get too out of control, okay? You're a good person. You’ve always been so nice, and I will miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too, Nico,” Annabeth said, burying her head in Percy’s shoulder.

Nico nodded and looked at Piper. “Sorry you were interrupted before. You are a great person, and you are a great hero. You’ve been such a loving person, and you’ve never been afraid to stand up for what’s important. Never stop doing that.”

Piper sobbed. “Oh, Nico!”

“It’s all right,” Nico said. “I’m going to miss you all.” He turned to Will. “Especially you, Will. I – I can’t imagine being without you, even if it’s only temporary.” Nico had to stop to catch his breath. “I love you, Will. I always will. I want you to be happy,” he reiterated. “I’ll miss you so much. I don’t know how I’ll bear it. I’ll never be ready to leave you, Will.”

“I’ll never be ready for you to go, Nico,” Will replied. He took a deep breath. “But you have to. I may not be ready to say goodbye, but it’s not fair for me keep you here any longer. It’s time for you to go, Nico. And I – I have to let you. I love you, Nico, and I always will. Every day until I see you again will be torture, but I’ll try. I promised you I would try. I’m going to live my life, but I will welcome death. I will be counting down the days until I see you again.”

Nico sighed. “I suppose that’s all I can ask.” He winced in pain. He didn’t have much longer. He wasn’t ready to go just yet. “Piper?” he said quietly.

Piper stepped forward. “Nico,” she said gently. “You’re holding on so hard for us, and you don’t need to. We don’t want you to suffer any longer that you have to.” Nico’s eyes widened; he should have expected that she would do this. He tried to fight her words as she said, “So, when you’re ready, you’re going to _let go.”_

Nico found himself nodding, too weak to fight her charmspeak. His eyes drifted closed. He had only seconds. He needed to say his last words: “I love you, Will.” Then the world slipped away.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nico walked through the gates of Elysium. It hadn’t been a very stressful judgment – they had basically already decided that he would get in. One of the benefits of being the son of Hades, in addition to all the things he’d done to help save the world.

The gates closed behind him. Nico smiled sadly. Elysium was nice, but it wasn’t any good without Will. There was nothing here worth enjoying until Will was there to enjoy it with him. Nico sat down in front of the gate and waited.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I wrote this because I read a few (several) Nico/Will fics with major character death warnings, and it seemed like Nico was always the one being left behind. I thought to myself, _Well, Will would be upset if Nico died, too. Why doesn't anyone write about that?_
> 
> And then I wrote this, and it ended up being far longer than I meant it to be. And it's all from Nico's perspective. So... I ended up writing far less about Will being sad than I meant to. I swear, it's hinted at. But, well, he's trying not to show Nico how sad he is, so... Oops.


End file.
